Life After Divorce

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So I learned to move through the ups and down waves of divorce –

angry kids

negotiating finances with the ex

friends questions

family’s dismissal

tackling jobs like changing bank accounts and car titles in manageable pieces

enjoying going out and feeling free to look at the opposite sex, and enjoy the occasional looks at me.

But I miss the simplicity of married life – all things known – where my Saturday night will be spent and how.  But there was no other way, it was a wave I had to ride, and still am.  Like my first post. Unexpected Journey

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Dorothy, “Toto, We’re Home!”

“Toto, we’re home. Home!  And this is my room, and you’re all here. And I’m never ever going to leave again because I love you all….

“Dorothy, “The Wizard of Oz”

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Comes a time after divorce, and bills, and childcare, and insurance issues and lowering living standards settle into a new plane.  And you wake up one morning and you say I’m doing it, I’m okay …. this is my new home, and it’s peaceful.  And I don’t want to leave.  This are my real friends… they stayed with me, and I love them more. I had to take that trip – a storm was chasing me.  But now I’m home.

 

 

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Footprints xoxo — World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.

Originally posted on The Story of my Twin Boys Oliver and Oscar Ferreira: The Story of my Twin Boys Oliver and Oscar Ferreira View original post

via Footprints xoxo — World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.

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Peace beyond Understanding

The Kingdom of heaven is within.    Luke 17:21

So many of your answers to the questions divorce posses will come from within.  Some come also from the dearest friends and those who’ve been through it.

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Fear Factor

The demands of simple justice are simple, indeed, but not just.

Walter Kaufmann

With all the recent events between police and protesters, it’s clear how much fear there is in our society – fear by blacks of unjust treatment, fear by police of random attacks and refusal by citizens to follow the law.

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Divorce often offers the same fear – terrifying feelings facing the unknown of what will happen to you, your kids, your $ and your stuff.

Reality is for most, once you acknowledge, decide, accept divorce is going to happen for you and your family, you can probably sit down one evening and pretty fairly guesstimate what will happen with your kids, your stuff, your money, considering your spouse and how they are likely to react.  In a year or two, it will likely all be sorted out, and you will be settling into a new, single life with your “new” family.  The unknown, the stresses, often end up more having to do with legal stuff, the courts, lawyers and their fees and how to work with them without whittling away your precious assets.

Try to work out as much as you can first, while your in a peaceful way, with your spouse, so you come into the legal process calm and in agreement (as much as possible) to minimize the time and cost with that system.

Please see my past post: Dont Go See A Lawyer

 

 

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Parenting With Minimal Damage Through Divorce

“The greater part of courage is the courage of  having done the thing before.”

R.W. Emerson

Hardest part for me – never having done the thing before.  But others have, and I found one or two, and they pulled me through.

Journey Beyond Divorce offers excellent parenting tips through and after divorce.

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Men Often Seem to Focus on Not Making Their Woman Angry

Hold fast to Dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.  

Langston Hughes

It seems most men are focused on not making their woman mad, or appeasing her if she is. That’s always bothered me.

“Now Choose Life” Author aptly testifies that men often neglect to mature emotionally once adults, and it is critical in life that they do so to have purpose, effect and live meaningful lives.  One must address the “issue” at hand  in an effective manner, whether that takes gentle confrontation, counseling, mediators, rather than skirt the issue. Yeah, much easier said than done.  Often the only way to solve a problem is going through, not around it.

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