Some of my friends are amazed at how well we worked through the divorce settlement agreement. I’m strong minded, and my Ex is a contentious lawyer/financial guy who doesn’t let anything get by. But somehow we got through it, with even the judge congratulating us on working out our lengthy settlement without court intervention.
I attribute some of this to the “Yes, Dear” theory. If I dont’ care too much about what’s being debated, I go subversive – let him be the alpha dog. I can’t tell you how much mileage this will get you. Also, I found (after noticing how my lawyer worked with me) it helps when pose things as a question, rather than a statement, whenever possible, okay? It alleviates pressure or assumptions.
When I do care, and this is not a majority of the time, I try “polite but firm”, as my Army sergeant sister advises. And when that doesn’t work the claws come out. But they are used ever so sparingly. That’s basically when I cash in on my mileage awards, because we’ve got a working relationship. Then, I’m surprised at the good deal I often end up with.
Fun Fact: This also works with coworkers, bosses, police officers, teens.
Note to self: definitely use this in my next marriage.