Yes, Dear

thSome of my friends are amazed at how well we worked through the divorce settlement agreement.  I’m strong minded, and my Ex is a contentious lawyer/financial guy who doesn’t let anything get by. But somehow we got through it, with even the judge congratulating us on working out our lengthy settlement without court intervention.

I attribute some of this to the “Yes, Dear” theory.  If I dont’ care too much about what’s being debated, I go subversive – let him be the alpha dog.  I can’t tell you how much mileage this will get you. Also, I found (after noticing how my lawyer worked with me) it helps when pose things as a question, rather than a statement, whenever possible, okay? It alleviates pressure or assumptions.

When I do care, and this is not a majority of the time, I try “polite but firm”, as my  Army sergeant sister advises. And when that doesn’t work the claws come out.  But they are used ever so sparingly.  That’s basically when I cash in on my mileage awards, because we’ve got a working relationship. Then, I’m surprised at the good deal I often end up with.

Fun Fact:  This also works with coworkers, bosses, police officers, teens.
Note to self: definitely use this in my next marriage.

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About Dee

I teach English at a local community college and am raising two children; I like to paint, write, pray, read, hike and travel.
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