I woke up a little sad this morning. I went out with a friend who also recently divorce to hear music last night. We sat the bar, and an older man came up and stood behind us for 45 minutes, trying to hone in on our conversation, which he finally did. We were polite, but I knew we had to get away – there was nothing there. I asked for the check, and we walked to another part of the restaurant/bar, and sat next to another man – friendly enough – no wedding ring. But as he chatted about his recent golf excursion we realized there was a wife and grown kids at home.
We continued to talk, then left each other to go home to empty our empty homes (my kids with their dad – hers out all night as college students). I woke up quiet and sad Sunday morning – making myself get ready for church. I tried to think what caused it. I think it’s bars – you go in with this strange hope something magical will happen. It never does. Not thinking something good won’t come to me, but honestly, I’d rather be at work, cleaning, cooking – at least those things are predictable. It’s the unpredictability that’s such a drain.