“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

courage

Yep, fear kept me from facing the inevitable for years.  My marriage was failing.  We functioned well caring for house and kids – planning finances – trips away.  But I could not face, once I decided I could live with myself morally and with my religious convictions, was the unknown of life to come.

Knowing that my spouse would change in all kinds of ways, once seen as your adversary over kids and money and things, and having no clue how that will affect your future life and well – being, was overwhelming.  I heard a story of spouses becoming severely ill under the stress, dying, losing most of everything – horrible child care battles.  I’m really not sure how I could have pushed myself to the inevitable decision to leave any sooner, but ultimately I had to push forward through the fear. The life I was leading was a facade.

Good news: there are lots of people to help.  Pick your most supportive friends, let the others gently go.  Resources abound. Please see my list of resources at: Divorce Resources

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About Dee

I teach English at a local community college and am raising two children; I like to paint, write, pray, read, hike and travel.
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